Dealing with rejection

A couple of weeks ago, someone posted in one of the groups that I participate in because she had received two rejection letters.  One from an agent and one from a publisher.  The whole thing had her really, really upset.

Here is where I reveal that I am THAT mom.  You know – the one that tells her four-year-old point-blank that people don’t always give you what you want.  And no, you don’t have the right to be devastated by the whole experience.  Rejection, my darling child and my adorable readers is a part of life.

That said some rejections hurt.  In fact, they just about flatten you.  Maybe the agent asked for a rewrite.  Or the editor requested a full after telling you how much she loved it.  Or your just tired and stressed.  Whatever.  Some rejections are harder to take than others.  But the good news is that there are ways to deal with this including these three.

Know where the piece will go next.  When you submit a piece to an editor or agent, know which publisher or agency is next on your list.  That way you aren’t getting a rejection as much as the opportunity to share your work with someone else.

Prepare a prize.  One of my friends did this and I borrowed the idea from her.  On slips of paper, she wrote gifts prizes she could win when a piece was rejected.  Put the slips in the basket or jar and then draw one when you get a rejection.  Maybe you get to go out for coffee.  Or you get to spend an hour knitting.  Or you go the movies.  Whatever, it has to be something that will make you happy.

Try to ear 100 rejections.  Another way to deal with rejections is to try to earn 100/year.  Do your market research and get your work out there, submitting to and querying agencies, publishers, magazines, etc.  Every rejection that you receive is one more step towards that goal.  If you make your goal, you could possibly reward yourself with a prize.

Rejection is a big part of writing.  You aren’t going to hear yes every time you send something in and that’s okay.  You want to grow and improve and rejection is often the nudge that we all need to do that.

What helps you deal with rejection?